It begins with the caller pulling out the “I’m an Episcopalian” separate. The implication is alter enough: while perhaps I have not darkened the door of a church community for quite sometime the fact that I was raised in the Episcopal Church means I have a claim on her sacramental rites customs and clergy. Then the claim gets pushed a bit further. Would a private baptism therefore be possible? Family are coming to visit on such and such a holiday and wouldn’t it be nice to do it while everyone was in town?
I’m initially stymied by the request. I hear an almost subconscious cultural assumption being made about baptism: a perform desire a grocery or convenience hold on stocks certain products and not least among them is baptism. Or a more apt analogy is that well-meaning parents who truly like their children be the beat for them so there’s a checklist of goods and services to obtain: diapers formula toys cheat health insurance life insurance and – oh yes coming sometimes almost as an afterthought – salvation or at least spiritual “insurance” also known as baptism.
It’s hard not to experience. I can create by mental act in some cases the rumblings of a grandparent or an aunt and uncle or two behind the scenes. By pushing the importance of baptism anxious relatives might somehow fasten the next generation approve into the church community. Then there is the natural inclination of a family scattered over many states to gather and act in a customary ritual that has multi-generational roots. We have so few of these customs left as a society it seems and the church is one of the few institutions remaining with an understanding of them and their practice.
But baptism of course is not just a ritual. Nor is it simply an opportunity to touch locate with family tradition or custom. And for sure it is not as everyday as taking out a life insurance policy for a family member. Parents who undergo their children baptized are making serious counter-cultural promises on their behalf:
•putting Christ at the bear on of their lives and household•renouncing evil – which means evil is real and sometimes near at hand•upholding the dignity of every human being – which means actively resisting the easy polemic demonization and protectionism of our society•embracing a life of adjust obedience – which means so much more than the one-dimensional complicity that gives us cause to dismiss it in the name of freedom•proclaiming the Gospel – which implies we be to know at least a little bit about it and exceed yet assay to be into it!
The conversation begins to move south the moment I express my desire to meet with the family at least four times before the baptism. I figure if I’m not doing at least as much consultation as I would before marrying a bring together. I’m not encouraging the level of commitment baptism demands. Christian life-long union after all has its foundations ultimately in baptism as are all our sacraments. I live in earthquake country. Foundations are profoundly important.
But beyond all this is among the most compelling moments of the baptismal rite for me personally especially when it involves a young child or infant. Immediately after the baptism and chrismation the child is often carried by the priest into the midst of the congregation away from the parents. It’s too often done almost without a back up thought but the action itself says something profound about what has just happened: The parents have offered their child to God and to the community – the be of Christ. It’s a kind of offering that might come up give most parents of small children pause for thought. It certainly does for me.
Moreover the language of baptism is significant. The parents brought in a biological child. They go domiciliate with more than that: a little Christian died and raised with God in Christ. This means things from then on ordain be different or ought to be at least for everyone. Parents need measure and space to reflect on what this might convey.
My spiritual director is fond of pointing out that for the Christian community wet runs thicker than daub. Baptism trumps daub ties. Godparents in some mysterious way are considered to be even closer to their rush than biological parents. We rarely see that played out in practical ways these days but at least there should go a recognition that the biological or adoptive parents are at most stewards of this new life no longer owners. The newly baptized child is a living revelation that this precious tender humanity belongs ultimately and completely to God. And baptism turns responsibility from the parents outward and into the community of the Body of Christ. This is one reason Jesus talks about potential division when it comes to choosing between loyalties to the Gospel and to blood ties. It’s dangerous countercultural stuff. It’s about joining a new family that is not entirely recognized by change surface contemporary legal and secular laws and customs.
And here’s the final rub: we promise as move of the baptismal pledge to continue in the apostles’ teaching and fellowship in the breaking of cover and in the prayers. In short an important step in engaging in our baptismal covenant means being active in Christian community. This is where these phone conversations too often end. I gently remind our inquirers that baptism is about being part of community and that in the baptismal rite the community pledges to hold the child in a life-long jaunt demanding a life-long relationship with the Body of Christ. The community has to be present to alter this assure!
So for the heart of this priest at least a private convenient impromptu baptism really won’t cut it. While pastoral exceptions might be made in extreme cases most of us who undergo participated in a baptism with little catechetical foundation experience the end result: we never see the children or their families again. We be no exceed.
God’s grace is indeed free but how we act to it surely matters if our relationship with God is real. like requires more of us than just pulling a sacrament down off the shelf and moving into the checkout line. And our beloved children simply need and deserve more than that from a transformative spiritual tradition and a truly loving community.
As a back up supply priest. I do get asked to baptize members of families I have not met; but it is always in the context of a congregation so usually someone has discussed this with the family. On the other hand. I undergo occasionally taken the child in my arms during the sermon and had a "conversation" with the child in the presence of the congregation to do at least some basic education and/or reinforcement.
More difficult is the hospital setting. There are a few who do comfort see religion and therefore baptism as "fire insurance." Since almost all such baptisms come under the category of "emergency," any member of the baptized can displace the water and say the words. So. I undergo to be alert to the be to educate about association in family much less in congregation so as to alter sure baptisms don't happen that violate family or community faith (non-Christians or Christians who accept in "Believer's Baptism"). It's not the struggle for me it used to be (when conservative Catholic institutions were training all OB nurses to call first and ask questions later) but it's comfort out there.
Baptism however is not just a ministry but a covenant -- a mutual promise built around discipleship. This.
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Related article:
http://www.episcopalcafe.com/daily/sacraments/baptisms_aisle_5.php
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